This is the second installment of a series. In case you didn’t catch installment #1, you can see it here.
Otherwise, to quickly recap, what follows is a partial list of my 22 best marriage tips in honor of the 22 years I have enjoyed with my sweet husband. Numbers 22 down to 14 have already been covered so I begin again…
13. Sing, sing a song.
Have some fun, people! Surely, you have a song that’s “your song”. Make it your ringtone. It’ll make you smile. My phone screams an eighties, huge-haired-band’s version of a ballad every time my man needs to hear my voice (’cause why else would he be calling?!).
Or learn and play a game together instead of mindlessly staring at the TV every night. We turned off our cable for a couple years and took up Cribbage. Quit laughing! We had a blast and still do when we pull out a deck of cards and laugh and play and talk and dream together. Try it. You’ll like it!
12. Some things need to be kept sacred.
This is Christian’s contribution. I asked him what advice he would give, and he said things like, “No gassy food before bed. Keep matches in the bathroom (or Febreze).” And, “Keep some things sacred.” For us, this means that I want my husband to keep finding me attractive and vice versa. This means that though we share a bathroom, there are certain things we don’t share that we do in the bathroom. Get it?
11. Eat the pie called Humble.
Do you need to control and be right, or tear down a potential marriage-killing wall? When you’re wrong, and sometimes even if you weren’t, be humble and do what it takes to fix it. There is no such thing as winning a fight, is there? No one really wins anything.
And, when you say you’re sorry, mean it. No apologies like I heard growing up like, “I’m sorry you’re so sensitive.”
It doesn’t count.
10. Line it up.
God is first. He’s the glue–the very fabric of who we are as a couple. If I’m not dialed in like I should be, my marriage will suffer. I will expect things from Christian that aren’t fair to him. I will become unfairly needy of him when my priorities are out of line. I will be unbalanced and he will feel that.
When God is in the right place, I am a better wife, and he is a better husband. It’s just the truth.
But, immediately following that position is my husband. Not the kids, not my purpose, not my friends, or my needs. He won’t demand too much if he feels valued, and that’s most definitely a two-way street.
9. Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies.
Whatever I say about my husband should build him up. And he is so good about complimenting me. His nickname for me is “Beautiful.” I may not be the essence of beauty at that moment, sporting bed-head and morning breath, but somehow I believe him at that moment. Gosh, I love that guy…
8. Did I mention no granny underwear?
To be continued…