This is part three of four blogs that I’m writing to share what I’ve learned in twenty-two years of loving one man. I will finish them tomorrow on our twenty-second anniversary of being together.
So, perhaps you’ll find a nugget or two if you’re married, would like to be married, or know someone who is married. If you do, let me know what resonates. I love your feedback!
7. Dream a little dream with me!
One of the saddest things I’ve seen is couples who forget each other. Life, kids, bills, unresolved issues–they all have a way of wiggling in between a marriage and forming a wall that grows brick by brick until folks look around and have no idea how they got there or how in the world to find their way back to each other. Or worse yet, they are unsure if they even want to. Obviously, they forgot that the person on the other side is the same person that once knocked their socks off.
How to prevent this, you ask? Other than adhering to tips 22-8, spend enough time together to dream! After all the squabbles have passed and the children are grown, there will remain two people with the potential for great things! Christian and I have big plans. I’m sooo excited to experience life with just him. Our kids know that they got a lot of our time and attention for a while, but there is a marriage here that has legs. Wouldn’t that be a good thing to know as the child? I wish I would have rested on that kind of secure foundation.
It’s never too late. If your view looks like some bricks, they can come down even easier than they went up. Demolition is always easier than construction.
6. Ticks and triggers
What makes me tick? Well, Christian ought to know by now. And it works to his benefit to use that information. He knows I love a good love note–even if it’s written with soap on the bathroom mirror. He knows that I find a back scratch or a slow dance ultra-romantic.
Do you know what makes the one you love happy and feel loved? Not what you would want, but what they really like. What makes them tick, trips their trigger, or floats their boat?
Find it. Do it. It screams love!
5. Trust Me.
Be worthy of trust.
And no matter what your past issues are with folks who have hurt you and left your trust account in a deficit, bestow trust. It’s a priceless gift that sets a foundation upon which every thing else can be built and remain solid.
4. It’s you (two) against the world.
For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)
As much as I want to finish the remaining three now, they are so important to me they deserve their own page. So I will finish them tomorrow on the big day. You might as well begin the drumroll now…