This is it–the final countdown! Hopefully, you’ve been following along and read the first three parts to this lengthy project. But, if you didn’t, it’s okay, because the three points that follow are the ones that count. You could throw away the rest and have the very best marriage if you lived out what you are about to read. Mainly because I didn’t write them. Someone infinitely wise did and He knew what He was talking about. 

In case you’ve never thought about it, God gave us specific help in how to have a successful relationship by telling each sex how to do the thing that would be the most difficult, maybe not the most natural, but definitely the most rewarding for them.
What I mean is, girls, if we would just relinquish the need to control everything and allow our husband to be in the place of loving leadership that he is supposed to be, he won’t be able to help but love us the way we long to be loved!
And guys, if you would love us girls as completely and unselfishly as described, we couldn’t help but want to be everything you need! It’s a beautiful circle in which everyone is fulfilled and loved.

If only we could just get it right!

Here’s what He said…(Ephesians 5:22-28) 

3. This one’s for the ladies…

 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. 

 2. Gentlemen…

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.

 1. The Big Kahuna!

 I’m gonna start with a story. Once upon a time, at the Kirksey house, there was a big fight.  The details escape me, but what I do remember is that the very air in the house was palpable with the remnants whatever had happened. No one wanted to be around each other or could look each other in the eye. People had been wronged. 

All of a sudden, the husband asked his family to gather in the living room. As a demonstration of how to serve, he brought a basin of warm water and began gently washing the feet of his family. He ended by lovingly washing the feet of his wife as his children looked on. Not a dry eye in the house. 

Love enough to serve!

Service is sacrificial. It thinks of others more than yourself. It is love in action.

At the end of the day, if I can ask my husband, “How could I have served you better today?” and mean it, and if my husband will do the same, we will have the marriage dreams are made of.


We are working on it, are you?

Try it. I double-dog dare you!!

 Thanks for taking this journey with me. It has gotten me thinking and Christian and I talking just in the writing of it. I would love your feedback! Tell me if any of this struck a nerve or had an impact. What are your best marriage tips? 

Happy (Dating) Anniversary, Sweetheart. As always, it’s all for you…

Photo credit–Addie Kirksey

As I was about to publish this post today, I learned that my aunt, that I loved so dearly, had passed away. The last couple years have been very difficult for her, health-wise, and her husband stood by her and loved and served her in a way I’ve never seen before. His love is exactly the kind of love I aspire to. For nearly 58 years those two have been the best of friends and I am beyond thankful for their example. Thank you, Uncle Harry, for your leadership and servant’s heart. I love you.


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