Out of control…?

It’s funny how quickly a day can spiral out of control. Or a truck when the tire blows.
I cannot even believe I’m writing this because it was not even a year and a half ago when I wrote this post chronicling another accident my son had.

Today, my son and Babe the big, blue truck had their last ride together. And another huge Ford (and an even huger God) saved his life.

Strange things happen in heads when a, “Wow. This day could have wrecked my life!” moment hits you between the eyes. Everything looks a little different. Every word you said earlier in the day, every weird “coincidence” looks a little less coincidence-y, every hug gets a little tighter.

On his way home from work, his right rear tire blew spinning his truck on the expressway. Facing the wrong direction, he saw a truck and camper and in order to miss hitting it he spun the wheel which sent him careening into the air and then he landed upside down crunching the roof to his head and tipped over one more time.
The truck and camper stopped, and two men on their way to hunting camp ran over to check on him.
This, my husband heard while on the phone with his son.
The second man peered in through the windshield and said, “Kirksey!” Yup. It was a friend. And volunteer fireman at that. They both were. They had called for help, and got Justin out and safely away from the vehicle and waited until his dad showed up.

Mom heard the phone call and fought vomit for 25 or so agonizing minutes waiting to hear her son’s voice.

He has two scratches. And he’s sore. And he is praising God. Because even though his truck, which was his prized possession is gone, and he’s unsure of how God will provide the next one, he is alive. My son laughed and hugged me while I sobbed and said, “Momma, I’m fine. I’m alive! The enemy thought he could win, but God’s got me.”

And the rest of the night we all just keep looking at him.

I don’t ask God, “Why?”
I never have. I guess no matter what has ever happened to me no matter how dark the day or devastating the circumstances, I’ve always known He is in control. I have wished for things to be different. I have begged that He would choose a different way, but because I know He is God I guess deep down I decide to let Him be.

It was just this morning that Christian and I had this conversation. We said that there were definitely a few things God could allow in our lives that could raise that “why” question. But, so far, we hold His hand and trust His plan. It’s bigger than we can see.
I don’t mean to sound all Pollyanna, and I guess if my life was perfect one could laugh at my naïveté.
But, like we discussed this morning, how does one KNOW the love of God? Like know it in your core.
If you wanted to know, but didn’t know, how do you think He could prove it to you?

Blessings? Money? A perfect life?
Because I found His love when my heart was broken. It was always there, but it wasn’t the great moments in my life that drew me. It was the deep, dark pain-filled ones.
That’s where He waited for me.
And once I knew Him more, I recognized Him in the great moments. Now, I see His love everywhere.
Even in a car accident.

He loves my son. He is doing huge things in him. Huge!! And my son will continue to be used in HUGE ways that most people don’t see to represent love. And when a really bad thing happens, he sees the love in spite of it and running through it.

Crap happens. It does. Folks deserve better than this world full of crap happening. But like so many arteries running from the heart outward runs LOVE so huge it makes the crap irrelevant. Or at least forgettable.

Or, it makes love the part worth focusing on.

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